What types of problems do you have with communication?
Explain these and how they affect your relationships or goals.
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Tree of Literature at Coole Park in Dublin, Ireland
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A problem I have with communication is that I am a very reserved, quiet, and shy person. I often watch and listen before actively participating in a conversation. Many people misinterpret this as a lack of caring or as being standoffish, and it isn't that at all.
ReplyDeleteI am sometimes not clear enough. I give directions in class. Students start an assignent, and then I remember something I should have told them. I type directions carefully for an activity, and then a student asks a question that I did not consider, and that will change what needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteI have several problems with communicating. I often need to buffer what I say. I say things that just "pop" out. I don't mean to hurt feelings or insult others, but I know there are times when I do. I also have trouble finding the right word I want to use. There are also times that I "lose" words. It is there in my head, but I just can't make it come to my mouth.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble communicating to my students how to better organize their writing. They tend to ramble with incomplete ideas. I use forms to organize their ideas. Its mostly the middle and lower groups I struggle with in writing.
ReplyDeleteIn my classroom, I sometimes have trouble giving my students in the class criticism. To me, it seems that I am just trying to get them in the right place with their writing. More often than not though, the kids end up crying. They cry (or sometimes become angry) when asked to make certain parts of their writing better or redo certain parts. I am bothered by this because I do believe they feel I am negatively criticizing them, and that is not my intention at all. I never raise my voice or belittle them at all.
ReplyDeleteMY BIGGEST PROBLEM IS WITH AUTOMATED CALL CENTERS... PRESS 1 FOR BILLING PRESS 2 FOR TECH SUPPORT, ETC. THEN, ONCE YOU MAKE A SELECTION, YOU GO TO YET ANOTHER LIST OF CHOICES- FOR BAD RECEPTION SAY BAD, FOR NO RECEPTION SAY NO, BLAH BLAH BLAH... I SAY OUTLAW AUTOMATED CALL CENTERS!!! HIRE SOME PEOPLE WHO CAN COMMUNICATE WITH ME!!!
ReplyDeleteI once took a communication class where the professor told me that the meaning of your message is determined by the recipient. Whatever the recipient believes you meant is what the meaning is.
ReplyDeleteCommunication is sometimes difficult when I have not really thought about the message I want to convey. When something is really important, I often feel like a colleague may walk away without really know where I stand on something. Sometimes it is just hard to get a word in edgewise when lots of people have compelling things to say!
ReplyDeleteI have recently realized that I talk too much. Thanks to my husband, and a lot of patience, I have noticed that I do not even need him to respond. I just keep talking and talking and talking. Anything that comes to mind I have to get out! I think a lot of my students have this problem as well. Also, i have a nasty habit of cutting people off. I apologize ahead of time if I do this to you! I am really working on fixing this and waiting for people to stop talking before I start. I know this sounds simple but it's not. And a lot of times I forget what I was going to say because I had to wait. But I know working on this has helped my husband and I communicate better.
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ReplyDeleteI hate talking on the phone! Let me rephrase that...I hate talking on the phone with someone I don't know. (We're talking pizza places, doctor's offices, and many times parents of students). Let me shoot an e-mail, hand written note, or even talk in person but please don't ask me to use the phone! I have no idea why I have this fear...the person doesnt know me, so even if they think I sound like a crazy person it shouldn't matter because...they don't know me!!!
ReplyDeleteMy main problem with communication is the misconception that I (or anyone for that matter) have that it is actually taken place! It is like when I tell my students to do something and some do the exact opposite, I thought I told them one thing and they heard another. This is the misconception that communication has actually taken place.... sometimes that is not the case. :)
ReplyDeleteMy biggest problem with communication is the "fear" that it will be taken differently than how the message was intended. So many times people have taken the information I have given them and turned my words inside out. By the time the message gets back to me it is hardly recognizable. I wish I could communicate more clearly so as to not leave any room for misunderstanding.
ReplyDeleteI frequently have trouble letting people know exactly how I feel. In many instances I tend to tell people what they want to hear, not necessarily how I feel about the situation. I am routinely a people pleasing person. I am afraid that my true feelings might offend others.
ReplyDeleteI think it is very difficult to communicate your expectations to a fifth grader (in English) and they look at you like you're either out of your mind or that you must be speaking a different language. How do I communicate to a parent that I'm really not mean when I expect an eleven year-old to read 20 minutes a night and turn in a response log at the end of the week?
ReplyDeleteAlissa, You need to teach me some of your patience. I could probably learn from you:)
ReplyDeleteALISSA--Still waters run deep. It is often much better to contemplate than to blurt something out.
ReplyDeleteThe major problem I have with with communication is that sometimes I do not say what I am thinking. I tend to hold things in somethimes. It can be good when I hold my tongue in meetings and I don't put my foot in my mouth, but other times I think that people take advantage of me because I do not speak up for myself. I am working on this and trying to speak up because I have found that if I let things go for a long period of time then I will blow up--and that's not good for anyone.
ReplyDeleteMr. Marks - I think I should have added this to my rant about hating talking on the phone! Once I've geared myself up to talk to an actual human I get a computer!!!
ReplyDeleteOften people misunderstand what I have said, and the process if bringing them to my understanding can be frustrating.
ReplyDeleteAmanda, you shouldn't feel bad about trying to help your students better their writing. In the end they will appreciate that you expected more from them and encouraged their best. Maybe the ones that get so easily upset would react better if you wrote them a note rather than speak to them directly when they have a problem with their writing.
ReplyDeleteLUNAHALO: I have had some of those same kinds of feelings. I often put off making such phone calls, because I just don't enjoy them. I have insisted that my children do this from a very early age. Sometimes I think it came from my mom doing too much for me as a child!
ReplyDeleteLUNAHALO
ReplyDeleteI have the same crazy fear!! It drives my husband CRAZY when he wants me to call and take care of something we got in the mail for the insurance company or make a dr appointment for him and I just can't do it without sweating and shaking. I just wanted you to know you are not alone!!
Mr. Marks
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain and frustration!
Lisa Dean, I have felt the same way! I usually find myself worrying about it until I e-mail the person to try to convey my thought more clearly.
ReplyDeleteCasey-
ReplyDeleteLast year I had my fourth graders write their own versions of Cinderella. Over the course of three days, I read them no less than 12 versions. I had 3 KIDS (YES!) that were writing stories in no way related. When I reminded them, they looked at me like, Huh? It was crazy. Completely understand you.
I guess I'm a little selfish or maybe just too self-reliant. I don't like to communicate sometimes. This is sometimes detrimental to personal relationships(at least my wife has beaten that into my brain), but is often helpful in reaching my goals. Being less sociable allows me to be more business-like and efficient.
ReplyDeleteDear Murphinator,
ReplyDeleteI too think of things to add to my lesson as students are writing. During my first class, I find myself talking when they're supposed to be writing. I just have one more thing to add and then one more thing. The next class thankfully goes a little more smoothly.
Brandy, I have always had the same problem as you with not speaking up. I too am trying to improve this part of my character. I definitely find that in meetings I feel better not speaking up for the same reasons as you.
ReplyDeleteLisaD,
ReplyDeleteYes, time has a way of interupting communication when not all views are allowed to be heard or shared...
ERIN,
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to communicate with fifth graders. Teachers are not cool, and most of us have a reputation for being mean. I have been known to switch to German when I feel I am not being understood. Sometimes I'm surprised how much German my students understand.
Ben,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Especially with my students, I am so afraid I am going to damage them for life if I really spell out exactly what the issue is. I just had this conversation with a friend who was on the other side of this coin. She shared that it is so frustrating when she doesn't know exactly where a person is coming from. She doesn't know how to fix any issues if she is unclear what the issues truly are. I definitely see her point, but it is still very hard to give that true part of myself to someone else. I have been working on being truly honest (with grace) this summer. It has really changed some of my relationships.
LUNAHALO- I have the same issue with making phone calls. I have to plan my calls in my head over and over before I make the call. I envy people who just pick up the phone and talk. I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteAlissa - it can be hard to find a balance in that can't it? Too quiet=smug, too talkative=annoying. Many times the person who waits to talk ends up being the one with the most insight (sounds like a fortune cookie huh?)
ReplyDeleteDear Brecka, This is so true! Whether with students, parents, or administrators any communication is perceived through their schema and listening filters. I've thought about this before, but this summarizes the fact clearly.
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